13.1

I remember talking with a friend at my 23rd birthday dinner about our personal goals in life and that running a half marathon was a goal we both shared. We talked about it for a few months but never did anything with it.

Well, for my new years resolution this year, i decided to do it. On January 1st, I registered for the Country Music (half) Marathon in Nashville. April 24, 2010. 4 days before my 25th birthday. Just weird how timing works out sometimes.

So, I asked Anna Beth to run it too and Christie, Emily, and Allison decided to as well and I was SO excited.

I started training in January. I ran early in the morning, late at night, in the rain, in the snow, in the cold, in the heat, on sidewalk, on streets, on gravel, on grass, with friends, and alone. I have never dedicated myself to running so much. I scheduled my weekends and week nights around running.

I had anticipated this race for a long time and couldn't believe when it was finally here.

We had our running shorts and shirts, our energy gels, our bagels, our shoes, our blister free socks, our anti-chafe sticks, our iPods loaded with music, our water bottles. We were set.

We trained at Craighead Park which has several hills and one big hill so we felt prepared for the hills at the Nashville half.

Christie, AB, Allison, and I ran a 10 miler 2 weekends before the race and it went GREAT. I was tired at the end but definitely could have done 3 more miles.

As the race weekend approached we frequently checked the forecast..it was not good. Severe thunderstorms. First 70% chance, then 80%, then the "nearly 100% chance." We were all bummed but tried to be hopeful. We prayed for the rain to hold off until after the race.

I hardly slept the night before the race. I was just going over everything in my mind and kept tossing and turning. I kept trying to force myself to go to sleep, which didn't help. I finally began quoting verses about peace and trust to myself and would get short little bits of sleep but didn't really get deep sleep all night.

I woke up race day feeling pretty good. I ate my bagel, drank my coffee and some water, and tried to be as calm as possible.

We headed toward the designated parking lot at 4:45AM. It started sprinkling on the way there. When we got there, we rode a shuttle to the starting area which was a big field with a lot of porta potties. Once we got there the rain had STOPPED! It was a clear sky except for some dark grey clouds in the distance when we were at the starting line. God is AWESOME.

I was feeling a little better when I saw that the weather was looking good.

We were in corral 22 which meant we started about 30 minutes after the elite runners. There were 33,000 runners in this race so they had to do the starting line in sections, obviously.

All 6 of us were running together for the first little bit. We got to about 1.5 miles and saw mom, dad, and Luke on the sidelines and we were all waving and shouting and smiling and just having a great time. Then Hell Hill #1 appeared. Wasn't too bad. I hate running hills but I knew the first 6 miles were supposed to be bad. After about 2 miles Allison was ahead of us and Christie and I were together. We found out later that Emily had gotten a really painful side stitch and had to slow down for a little while.

As I mentioned...33,000 runners in this race. 93% of these people overestimated their athletic abilities when registering for corral numbers. There were walls of people running slower than us and we had to weave in and out of them. I am positive that I did well over 13.1 miles if you include all the zig zagging.. I had to restrain myself from shoving a few walkers out of the way. I did purposely elbow a couple. People, if you are planning to walk the entire race, you will not finish it in 2 hours.

As we crossed the 5K marker, we had a good pace going. I was thinking "this race is going good!" I was having a good time listening to my music and running. Around mile 4 I noticed my feet were starting to hurt. We stopped for energy gel around mile 5. I think at this point we had run up about 4 long, steady hills... I was starting to feel less energetic but still felt ok. I grabbed an orange slice from the fruit stand along the way. Mistake. It is not easy to eat an orance slice while running. The juice was all over my chin and i barely got any of the actual orange into my mouth and it was really hard to chew it up and swallow WHILE running. We passed the 1st water station but at every station after that we got a cytomax and sometimes water. It kept me going for a while.

At mile 9 after a like 4 more big hills, things started to get bad. I was feeling weak and dehydrated. We got to a water stand but it was out of water! I wanted to cry. Christie kept asking me if I was ok, and I knew that I felt a lot differently than I normally did on long runs. My head was tingling and my eyes were having problems focusing. All I could think about was how far from the finish line I was. (And at this point I couldn't have told you how many miles that was because I couldn't calculate what 13-9 would be.) My music was irritating me, my body was hurting, and the walkers blocking us from running were about to have their heads smashed into each other.

I just made myself zone out and got to mile 10. We still had a pretty good pace going but I was definitely running on low energy. At 10.5 I couldn't make my feet move at a running pace anymore. I started walking and I was so mad at myself but I can honestly say looking back that I had to walk. I cant describe how I was feeling. It was horrible. I don't really remember from 10.5 until 12.6. I know I made myself run but walked several times, too.

At 12.6 I decided that I was going to run the rest even if I passed out because I was not walking across the finish line. So, at the slowest pace I have ever done, I started running towards the finish line. Every step was so much effort. When I finally rounded the curve and was on the straightaway to the finish line I was going as fast as I could make myself. I finished in 2:25:44. I was hoping for around 2:10 or 2:15, but all things considered, I am not too disappointed. When I finished, all I was thinking is "i am NEVER doing this again" and "please don't puke or pass out" I saw Christie after I finished and she said my lips were blue. I saw Luke on the sidelines and pointed for him to meet me. I kept walking in the section they had set up for the finishers and the first thing I saw was Shrek go-gurt. That is the first time in my life I ripped something open with my teeth. I am telling you, that is the best food i have ever tasted.

I couldn't find Luke and kept having to catch myself from falling so I grabbed a banana and some cytomax and found the closest curb. (right next to 3 garbage bins, just so you know) After I sat for a while, I felt a lot better and finally got enough signal to call Luke and my parents. About 10 minutes after I crossed the finish line, it started sprinkling. About 15 minutes later it was pouring. God is amaaazing and it is so cool when you pray for specific, personal things and it is answered.

I am VERY glad the race is over with. I am not sure if it was just a bad running day, if I started out too fast, or what. Today, I can hardly move I am so sore. I have blisters on my toes and my joints hurt and my muscles are aching. The agony of the last 3 miles is already fading, so the question of future half marathons is still unanswerable. I am glad I can say I finished a half marathon and can now live a more normal schedule. Now, I am going to granny-walk myself to bed and try to get some sleep =)

charlie.

Its neat when God places someone in your life who says the exact words you needed to hear that day.
I have this patient (we will call him Charlie, because that it is his real name and unless I tell you his last name, its not against HIPAA laws) who is always so encouraging when he comes in. In December 2008 when Dad had his gallbladder surgery, Charlie had an appointment right before I left to go to the hospital. I told him about Dad's upcoming surgery and before he left, while we were both still sitting down, he just grabbed both my hands and began praying for the surgery, for the doctors, for dad, and for peace. I felt a little awkward for a few seconds, but it ended up being so meaningful.
At his next appointment, probably in March or April of 2009, I told him I was going to Africa for the dental mission trip. He came back a few days later to have a filling done and came to my room and handed me a check to go towards the support money I needed to raise.
He always seems to come in on days when I could use a little encouragement.
I've been going through some stuff that has been tough at times, but I have definitely leaned on God more than ever. He has given me peace and security and I'm realizing He is all I need and I'm realizing how amazing Jesus' grace to us is. How filthy and sinful and unworthy humans are.
ANYWAY. This morning I looked at the schedule and saw Charlie's name at 3:00. To be honest my heart sank a little because I knew he would ask me what had been going on in my life, and sometimes its just easier to not talk about things. As predicted, before I even finished taking his bitewings, he asked about what had been going on in my life. I quickly began talking about the half marathon and the training I've been doing for that and how I'm feeling about the race. Later he again was asking about what had been going on in my life, and everything just kind of poured out. I told him broadly about the things I'd been dealing with and trying to work through and told him at times God felt so real and so strong and sometimes it feels like He's not even there or doesn't care.
He said do you think God loves you enough to guide you through things that are painful because he sees that the road you are currently headed on is even more painful? He said that if people always got everything we wanted we would be miserable people. He told me that my relationship with Christ was more important than any thing or any relationship on earth. (which I knew, but still..its different to hear someone verbalize it.)
I am just thankful that I feel like God sent him to speak to my heart today. I have felt better since he talked to me and even though I know it won't always "feel" good to go through tough times, God had a big plan and just because we don't see it doesn't mean He doesn't love us and care about us.
I just love to talk to people who are SO passionate about Jesus. Charlie talks about Jesus all the time. He was talking about setting up your "eternal retirement" instead of focusing on earthly goods... and how Christianity was about more than the "mowing your neighbors yard good deed of the day, Joel Osteen point of view" I was walking past as he was checking out at the front desk and He was talking about God to the receptionist. Not in a pushy, self-righteous way but just in a Jesus has done so much for us and its all that matters way. In a way that affects people and changes their views on things to point to Jesus Christ and away from the pointless things of the world.

I have been on a mission to force myself to like coffee.. the first few times i tried it i'm pretty sure my face looked like i had just tasted the nastiest thing on planet earth. it is just so bitter and is pretty gross. i'm just tired of not liking coffee. and since i've tried to give up (or as luke would tell you, just decrease consumption of) cokes i need a new source of caffeine.
SO--as of now i like coffee in 3 ways, 2 of which "coffee drinkers" might not count. Maybe even all 3 don't count. but its closer than i was.
#1. Maxwell House Cafe Francais-
i tried this instant coffee mix because my mom is absolutely addicted and it was all that was available at the time. at first i just tolerated it and forced myself to drink it but now i sort of like it.
#2. Maxwell House Vanilla Caramel Latte
again, instant coffee mix. i'm pretty sure i've heard 9 "coffee drinkers" say that this doesn't count as coffee. well you know what? it has coffee in it. and i'm making progress. and this is delicious, probably because it doesn't taste a thing like coffee. very foamy & caramel-y. i like this the best but since i am really trying to actually like coffee, i make myself drink this only every other morning
#3. Plain coffee out of the coffee pot with a little milk and a little sugar. i mean...i can force myself to down a cup of this stuff but it absolutely not enjoyable to me. it is bitter and really bad tasting. and burns my throat since i basically chug it to get it over with.
I am not really sure why i am on this make myself like coffee kick. i have seen first hand how much it stains teeth and makes people's tongues yellow. i mean--disgusting. on the other hand, i want to like coffee and i need my caffeine in one way or another. and it is good for runners...

people suggest creamers and things but i dont know which direction to go with that.
oh, and tomorrow is vanilla caramel latte day which makes me smile.

My boss had her baby on Friday so things have been slow @ work this week. We have a dentist filling in from Memphis but he can't work on Wednesdays so I am the only one seeing patients today and I just had 2 patients cancel so that equals lotsa free time!

Well, I have registered for a half marathon! It was sort of a New Year's Resolution for AB & I. It's always been a goal of mine and since Luke got me a really nice Garmin running watch for Christmas, I figured it'd be the perfect time! The race is April 24 in Nashville. 4 days before i turn 25 (which i cannot believe is true. i cannot be that old..) Training doesn't officially start until January 31 but I have been running 3-4 days a week to kind of build a base. I found a really good, hilly 3 mile route from my parent's house that I ran last night with my friend Allison. I will have to find more routes like that because running the same way every single time is annoying and having something new makes it more fun. As for the half, 13.1 miles....long way to run! It seems so far from what I can do right now..and it is. But if i stay consistent with training, there's no reason I can't do it.

Ive been reading John Bunyan's Grace Abounding. I'm only on chapter 4 but its really good. I identify a lot with the things he's saying. Our church is also reading through the Bible in a year and I am also starting a new Bible study on Ruth tomorrow---so LOTS of Bible reading but I am not complaining at all. I am excited. Reading through the Bible so far has shown me a lot of things I never caught onto before by just reading certain passages or doing Bible studies that focus specifically on several different verses in different books. I'm only in Exodus...so I have a long way to go but I look forward to the chances I get to read.

Earlier this week I was having a bad day and feeling sorry for myself and really just stressing out in general. I realized I've got to snap out of that. I am blessed and have such a great family, extended family, amazing friends and one incredible boyfriend. I have so many things to be thankful for...stressful days shouldn't make me miserable.

That said..I've noticed lately how annoying patients can be. For example...Maybe its because i see about 8 patients a day 4 days a week so i use the suction really often...but people!! its not that hard to just close your lips around the suction. People push the suction out with their tongue or close their lips repeatedly around the suction and it squirts water all over their faces and then they look at me like i'm the one who squirted them. I have to wipe it off their face and pretend like i'm not annoyed that they can't figure out how to not act like an idiot...Or when i floss their teeth. They try to help me get the floss out with their tongue. Ok, I really can do it myself and don't need your tongues help. Or when throughout their appointment they point out several times how much they hate the dentist. Like that is a unique quality.

I have really weird dreams. I had a dream the other night that a giraffe was crossing the street i lived on in little rock and he was carrying a grocery bag in his mouth. really random...

I was bored and looking around on Amazon the other day and ended up ordering 4 CD's. I am excited though because I have been wanting them for a while and got good deals on them. Kristen and I are having a CD party sometime soon. Putting eachother's CD's on our iPods. That'll save lots of money because we seem to have similar music tastes...